In Need of Love
by takerschic1965
Summary: This is the story of Draco Malfoy who only wanted love from his family. But before he gets it, his father must learn to love. Along the way he finds a past his father has chosen to shut out forever.
1. Life at Home

"BLOODY HELL NARCISSA! I WORK MY ASS OFF AT THE GODDAMN MINISTRY AND I GO HOME TO THIS HELL YOU CALL A HOUSE! DON'T YELL AT ME FOR NOT DOING ANYTHING AROUND HERE! WHY DON'T YOU GET OFF YOUR FAT ASS AND START MOVING BITCH!"

"THAT'S ALL I AM TO YOU! A STUPID BITCH! I'M SICK OF ALL THIS BULLSHIT YOU PUT ME THROUGH EVERYDAY! I KNEW YOU WERE AN ASS THE MOMENT I MET YOU!"

"YOU'RE THE DUMB ONE! YOU MARRIED ME!"

"AGAINST MY WILL!"

Through the shouting, a boy around the age of 15, was sitting upstairs in his room tearing up anything he could see. He was sick of the fighting.

Everyday, when his father would come home, his mother would start yelling. That was when all hell broke loose. Though his mother had a bad temper, one could only imagine his father's. Lucius was once a Death-Eater. A follower of Voldemort. He learned to be vicious from the Death-Eaters. Never took any crap from anyone, not even his wife. Draco, was the only one he truly cared for. And Draco knew this, but he hated how his father neglected his mother. But he wasn't too happy with his mother either. She always treated him as if he was as worthless as his father. It made him resent Narcissa. But all he wanted was a full family. A mother and a father who loved each other. His parents were the complete opposite.

Draco, holding in his tears, started to kick his pillows. He pulled the curtains, anything he could get a hold of, he ripped. He was tired of the same old things.

He wanted to get out. He needed to get out. That's when it hit him. He couldn't stay there. He needed to talk to someone who understood. Who knew what was going on behind the scenes. A person who never yelled at him like his father did or put him down like his mother. One of the Malfoy's close confidante, Paula. Draco took a few clothes, a couple books and headed out. He mounted his broom and left a note in his room saying, "Can't take this! At a friend's"

As Draco flew through the air, it made him happy. He was able to breathe. Think clearly. He felt good inside and forgot about all his worries.

Back at the Malfoy Manor, things were still not going as well.

"DON'T YOU DARE EVER CRITICIZE WHAT I'VE DONE AROUND HERE! I PROBABLY TAKE MORE CARE OF DRACO THAN YOU EVER DID!" Lucius spat.

"WELL MAYBE, IF YOU TAUGHT HIM HOW TO RESPECT AND BEHAVE INSTEAD OF BEING SUCH A POMPOUS ASS! THEN MAYBE I WOULDN'T TREAT HIM LIKE I DO NOW" Narcissa yelled.

That one sentence had hit a nerve. Lucius was infuriated. His face was red, his eyes, colder and icier than ever before, he slapped her straight across the face. Narcissa was crying, her lip was bleeding from the slap. She ran out of the house immediately. Lucius so angry, sat down to catch his breathe. He thought about everything as he slowly drifted off to sleep.

KNOCKKNOCKKNOCKKNOCK

"Coming!" a woman yelled out.

KNOCKKNOCKKNOCKKNOCK

"Dammit! I said I was coming!"

Draco was outside. Clutching his things tightly. Nervous she wouldn't take him in. The door opened and standing at the door was a woman with dark black flowing hair. Her eyes were dark as the midnight sky. She was wearing a black silk night gown and she looked like she had just woken up.

"Draco! What are you doing here? It's like past midnight!" she exclaimed.

"I know. But, I couldn't stand being home anymore. They're fighting again and I needed to leave. Paula, I feel like I'm suffocating there. Mother and Father just keep bickering and it becomes an all night thing. I can't sleep and it gets me so angry."

"Alright. Come in. You can spend the night here. BUT, I have to tell your father tomorrow."

"That's fine with me" Draco replied


	2. Paula

Draco entered the manor and sat down on a black leather couch. The manor was as big as his house and had a very dark and scary accent to it. There were many peculiar objects that looked as if they were purchased from "Knockturn Alley". If a muggle ever walked into the house, it would send them chills down their spine for years.

Paula was no ordinary wizard. She, like Draco's father, was a Death-Eater. The two met back when they were just students at Hogwarts. Paula knew Lucius like the palm of her hand. He trusted her with all his dirty work and secrets. She probably knew more about him, then well Narcissa.They were both school governers and usually worked alongside. Why the two have never gotten married, was a question that all of Lucius' friends have always wondered. She was rich, powerful, smart, pretty and not to mention a pureblood. Draco liked going to her house because she never criticized him and was always there for him when he needed her.

"So what's going on with those two again?" she hollered from the kitchen.

"They're fighting over who does the work around the house."

Paula entered with two butterbeers. "Well, I told you, it's just the way that they act. You can't really change them. No one can. Believe me, I've tried, and I see that you've tried. Nothing works.

"It's just I hate it! I can't stand it when they fight! I hate Father for being such an arse to me and Mother. I hate Mother for hating me! I can't be good enough for them! And I know I never will be. I try to be as great as Father, and I try to be like him, but I always manage to mess up!"

Paula pat his back. " Draco, you're father loves you. I know it. You know it. It's just, you have to understand that he shows his love differently than others. It's the way he was brought up. His father treated him the same way, and now that's how he feels he should act towards you in order for you to grow up and be as great as he is."

"I..I just wish I had a Father who showed me some love and a Mother who always cared for me.

"And end up like, oh I don't know, the Weasleys or the Potters for that matter? Look at the Potters, they loved their son very much, and looked what happened to poor old James and Lily. Dead in a second. And look at the Weasleys. They love their children, and look, nothing but a disgrace. Poor, filthy people who can't even afford to buy a shower to clean themselves. Don't bother Draco."

"You're right. I hate stupid Potter. So hung up on his parents. Thinks they're great. He doesn't know what great is. All his father did was win a couple of quidditch matches and all of a sudden he's father of the century. A true great person, is someone like Father. Rich, successful, dominant, powerful." Draco said proudly

"See. You've got a great family. Why ask for more?" she said

" I kind of wish, he would spend time with me or if him and Mother both loosened up. Were a little nicer with things. It's a good wish, but impossible. Never mind. I'm foolish to ever think of something so stupid."

"It's not stupid Draco. It's normal. Everyone has wishes. They just don't always come true. You can't rely on a wish for the rest of your life"

"Paula, do you?" Draco asked.

She looked at him confused.

" I mean, do you have wishes?"

She smiled and laughed. "Of course I do! To get rid of all mudbloods and blood traitors in the wizarding world. Not to mention muggles. Stupid buggers. And of course to fully please the Dark Lord. I only wish to be his best servant."

Draco smirked a little but still wasn't satisfied with her answer. "Well that too. I don't mean to get personal and you don't have to answer if you don't want to. But I mean, real bottom of the heart wishes. "

"Ah..my heart's true desires. Well yes I do. Let me tell you a story. You see Draco, my parents never thought that what I did was good enough. If I got excellent marks on something, there would always be something that I could have done better to get perfect marks. And from then, I never thought I was ever good at anything. That's why, ever since, I've always wanted to be good enough. Maybe not to the world. But to one person.

Draco was looking at her and could tell she was holding back so many tears. He wanted to comfort her, but how to do it, he didn't know. She smiled back pretending she was fine, but he knew there was more to it than that.

"Paula, if you don't mind me asking, was there ever anyone that was close to becoming that one person."

Draco wanted to know more. Her life was one of the most interesting ones he's ever known. Next to his father of course. Besides he had nowhere else to go at this time.

Paula noticed that the fire in the fireplace was going out. She took her wand and said "inflammo stipes" The fire lit brightly and would not go out until the morning. She knew this would be a long night. Reluctantly, she began her story of a love that was perfect and a career choice that ended it.


	3. The Past

"It was my first year at Hogwarts. I knew quite a few girls there but not too many boys. But little did I know that would change. I entered the castle not knowing what to expect. "

_" Paula! Hurry up! Let's walk by those boys!" shouted a girl of eleven years old._

_A young girl, also eleven with black hair, ran to her side._

_"Honestly Astrid. Not even a day and that's the only thing on your mind..okay let's go!" _

_The girls giggled and ran only to start walking very close by to a few boys who were quite rowdy._

_"Helloooo ladies!" said one of the boys. He was quite stout and had a very puglike face. _

_Paula and Astrid looked at each other knowing he just wasn't what they were looking for.The boys introduced themselves one by one. But Paula wasn't paying attention to any of them. She was too busy noticing a boy who seemed to be the leader of the pack. She knew what she wanted and she wanted him._

"Who was it?" Draco said eagerly.

"I'd tell you, but then what secrets would I have to myself?"

Draco looked a little disappointed but Paula only smiled at him

"So we all entered the Great Hall to be sorted. I put on the hat and I was immediately sorted into Slytherin. Probably one of the most memorable days of my life. Then there _he_ was. And he was sorted into Slytherin too. If you would have seen my face. I was probably the happiest girl there. So of course after meeting the boys, we all clicked. And the best part was they were all in Slytherin. We would later be one of the most dominant people to walk those Hogwarts hallways.

The years started to go by quite fast. And as for me and the boy, he started becoming a man. We both had gotten very close through the years. Then during my fourth year, that's when it happened."

_The girls had all grown into beautiful women and of course were always stared at by all the boys there. A first year had been staring at them and started smiling at them._

_" You wish! " Astrid smirked_

_Paula laughed and pat him on the head " Grow a set and then come see me! " _

_The two girls were known for putting down boys feelings. They started walking away and went to the girls dormitory._

_Astrid jumped on her bed and started their usual "girl talk."  
_

_"So Paula tell me. The Winter Ball is coming up. Talk to him yet? "  
_

_"Astrid, how many times do I have to tell you. We're just friends and that's all we'll ever be. "  
_

_"You cannot honestly tell me that you think you two are friends. Both of you walk around Hogwarts and own the school. You lead Slytherin. No one enjoys walking in your path. You guys are like some kind of dominant force together. And you think that you two are JUST FRIENDS! What friends act the way you two do towards each other? You hold hands, he's always got his arm around you, he tells you his secrets, and I'm pretty sure he knows more secrets about you than I do. Which kinda hurts."  
_

_"Call it what you like, but we're just best friends. Sorry if you don't have a friend like I do. "_

_"Ow. Burn!"_

_KNOCKKNOCKKNOCK_

_"Hey Paula, it's me" A deep voice had said through the door. "Can I talk to you. In private."_

Astrid started jumping up and down. "Ah, Here's LOVERBOY! He wants to talk in private..AKA He wants to bang you senseless."

"Shut Up!" She hit her with a pillow causing Astrid to fall to the floor. 

_Paula left the dormitory with him._

_She smiled at him as he smiled back._

_He started the conversation. Except, not so well "So that was quite a breakfast we had in the Great Hall today."_

Paula looked at him. 

_"Uhm, roast beef was good wouldn't you say?"_

"What's going on? Did you break something of mine?"

_"No! What I can't strike a nice little conversation?"  
_

_"You wanted a private conversation with me to talk about roast beef!"_

"So.."

She started to walk away shaking her head. Then-

_"OkayIreallyamnotgoodatthisandijustwantedtoletyouknowthatireallylikeyoumorethanafriendandido_

_n'tcarewhatallmyfriendssayorwhatyourfriendssayandsometimeswhenimjokingaroundandsaystupid_

_stufflikeiwantyoutokissmeireallywishthatyouwouldkissmeandwheniputmyarmaroundyouireallywant_

_toholdyoulikethatforeverandthisisnotlikemetoactallstupidandsensitivelikethisbuti'veneverfeltthiswa_

_ysoifyouwanttodoyouwanttobemydatetothewinterball?"_

_He could not even breathe. His face had almost turned blue. Paula stood there gaping._

_"Oh my god. Are you okay?"_

"Neverbetter. Ahem.. Never Better"

_"Uhm .. I'm sorry that you're face is blue but I didn't understand a word you said. Could you repeat that. Actually wait."_

She took out her wand and said "ostium prolabor"

_The door fell down on Astrid who had been listening through it. The door then went back up._

_"Ow."_

_Paula looked away annoyed and then said " Okay, so could you say that again."_

_He took a deep breathe and once more. _

_"Okay I really am not good at this and i just wanted to let you know that i really like you more than a friend and I don't care what all my friends say or what your friends say. And sometimes when I'm joking around and say stupid stuff like I want you to kiss me I really wish that you would kiss me. And when I put my arm around you i really want to hold you like that forever and this is not like me to act all stupid and sensitive like this but I've never felt this way so if you want to, Do you want to be my date to the winter ball?"_

_Paula still a little in awe but somehow managed to be able to think, smiled a little._

"Aw. That's really sweet of you. That's a pretty big thing you just said there. I don't even know what to say to that. I really wish I could say something so deep like you did but my mind is just drawing a blank right now."

"You don't .. have to say anything deep. Just say that you feel the same way. "

_" I.. "_

His heart sank and he felt the words of rejection rising up. He put his hand up as to say he didn't want to hear it. He walked away.

" Damn. You won't even stay to hear me say I do feel the same."

_He looked up and smiled. _

_"Bitch. Keeping me in all that suspense." He smirked. "You're lucky you said you felt the same way. I almost thought I had to kill you for hearing that."_

Paula smiled and looked at him and she felt it was right. He leaned in and kissed her. Everything felt perfect.

Draco snorted.

"What!"

"Nothing. It's just hard to imagine you so deep. I've seen you Paula and you've been pretty dark. Never once have I seen you so passionate."

She hit him on the head.

Draco held his head and said, "I said I've never seen you passionate. I see you violent every other day."

"Anyways. We were together everyday and we never once got tired of each other. Well, we fought all the time but we never let it get out of control. We always made up. It wasn't til our last day at Hogwarts did we have the biggest fight. It was when I wasn't sure if we'd ever talk again. If I'd ever see him again."

_"Are you ready to leave this place forever?" the boy replied. _

_"Pretty much. I'm .. excited. ." Paula said happily but holding something back._

_"What's wrong?"_

_"Nothing's wrong. We need to talk."_

"Sure. Come here." 

_His usual icy and chilling voice had turned into a soothing and easing voice. Paula felt safe. She knew he'd understand. _

_"You know I love you right? And that you are the most important thing to me. But if I ever plan on getting ahead in life, I can't stay grounded forever."_

"What are you getting at?"

"I need to know right now. Do you care about my future?"

"Yes, you of all people know I do. "

_"Would you support me in the decisions that I make"_

_"Yes!"_

"Well. There was an offering for me. To travel the world. Find artifacts, parchments, the workings of all the dark wizards including Salazar Slytherin. To find the deadliest curses that have yet to be found. To find the downfall to all the muggles and all those damn half-bloods "

"Did you say travel the world?"

"Yes..."

"This is only going to be one of those once a month type things aren't they?"

"No..It would be an on-going research. I would be all over and not really getting a chance to settle in."

"You're fucking joking me! After all the things that we talked about. How you and I would stay here and start a life. Start a some kind of power. Control this land. We had a future and you want to throw it away."

_"I'm not throwing it away. I'm making a future for myself and hopefully you too! I can't wait around here forever, waiting for something that would only suit your interests for me."_

_"Is that how you see it? That every damn thing in your life has to be approved by me? I care for what you want. I look out for you. I want to make sure you're safe not because it works for me!"_

"If you really cared about what I wanted then you wouldn't be bitching about this whole thing. I actually thought that you would understand. That you would be the one happier than me that I could actually do some good with my life."

_"Well, you thought wrong.You know I'm beginning to see what a mistake I made for being with you. You were supposed to stay here with me. Help me out when I needed your opinion. I didn't expect you to just get up and leave just for something like this. Despicable is all you've become right now."_

" I cannot believe the words that are coming out of your mouth! We're starting again, aren't we? . It always has to be a fight with you! And all because of this one job! You said yourself that it would be your dream for finding all these things out."  


_"Yes. MY dream. MY dream was to find them. MY dream was for you to just stay home and take care of everything -"_

He knew he had said too much. He knew that Paula was very against the topic of women staying at home and having to act so lady-like and take care of things. She felt it was a typical muggle's job. She believed that taking care of house business was just showing how the man would never respect her as a woman and just use her. But he couldn't take back what he said.

_Then she slapped him._

_"Fuck You" she whispered with pure malice._

_She walked out. Never said good-bye to him. She didn't see him get on the Hogwarts Express. Didn't see him at the Great Hall. She never saw him before she started her new career. And she never planned on seeing him._

"Well that's kind of depressing. But what an arse!" said Draco.

"Be careful what you say." Paula said warningly "But even though I was so angry at him, it hurt so badly. The one person who ever had any faith in me, made me feel like I was better than everyone - even him, was the person who would tear me apart. I would have cried, but I wouldn't dare do it in front of him. Especially over him."

"Well, did you ever see him again?"

She was cut off by a voice in the background.

"Well, Paula, I do hope he wasn't too much trouble. Dreadfully sorry about that."

Lucius had obviously apparated into the room.

Draco looked out the window and saw that the sun was out and so was the fire. Nervous about the beatdown his father would give him, he slowly started getting his things ready.

Paula walked over to Lucius. They both started whispering.

"No, he's fine. Just watch over him closely."

"Yes. I read the little note he left me. Brief but I got the idea that he was trying to set across. No work today? I really thought you did. Lots of things to do at the Ministry. "

"Lucius. Enough about work. Talk to me. How are things?"

"I don't know. Frustrating. She walked out. I don't know if she'll come back."

"Lucius. Look at me. Don't make the same mistake twice"

Draco was ready and walked over to his father. His father looked down at him with sympathetic eyes.

"It's okay Draco. You did nothing wrong. Let's go home okay?"

Draco nodded and his heavy heart was suddenly lifted. He gave Paula a hug and soon the two disappeared into thin air.

Paula took a deep breath. She went back to the couch and started thinking back on all the memories.


	4. The Thoughts Are Coming Back

Draco and Lucius arrived back at their manor. The place was a mess but neither of them minded. Draco sat down on the couch with a look of thought on his face. Lucius sat down next to him.

"What's wrong, Draco? Is it the fight with your mother and I? We're just hitting some bad moments but it'll pass. It'll all be fine."

"No, Father. I'm not thinking about that. I think I'm okay with it all. I guess. But while we're on the subject. Father, were you in love with Mum when you married her?"

"Well . . that's a question I wasn't expecting. Uhm.." Lucius winced but tried to answer the question as best as he could. "Well your mother was someone was someone I was looking for. She was to be my partner. She was there to guide me through my life choices. What on earth brought you to this question?"

"Paula and I were talking and she told me of some boy she fell in love with at Hogwarts. And it seemed that she could have led the perfect life with this boy, but she turned away from it. It just confuses me that someone so in love could end up with such a sad, lonely life. I'm not saying Paula's sad, but it's depressing to know that she's alone when she had a chance at being much more alive with the right man."

Lucius looked at him intently. "What are you talking about? How did this conversation come about?"

"Well I simply asked her if her wish ever came true. If there was someone that made her feel good enough. And she was talking of this boy. Father, you and Paula went to Hogwarts together. Did you know who she was talking about?"

Lucius was engrossed in thought. Draco was waiting for an answer.

"Father.."

"Go to your room.." he said quietly.

Draco obeyed orders. He walked up the steps but stopped half-way. He looked down at his father.

"Is everything alright?"

"Go.."

He headed up for the steps. Lucius heard the door close and got up. He was sweating intensely. He needed something. _Aguamenti ._ Water appeared. He drank it but his heart was still pounding. Then the thoughts started hammering away in his head.

**She still thinks of what happened. What did she tell Draco? Draco doesn't know that's why he asked you Lucius. What stories did she tell him? Well, she chose the right path. She's now very known in the Ministry."It seemed that she could have led the perfect life with this boy" And it's true. She could have. But it was her fault. No! The thoughts are coming back. Please no. I'm done with them. They're the ones that have ruined me. But it could have been perfect. ENOUGH LUCIUS! You're just friends - - and that's all that will ever happen. The way it was always meant to be. **


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5 Coming Soon


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